For many years I sat, afraid to write. I worried my words would have no affect, touch no one, fall short of a blessing. My Christian walk has taken me down many winding roads, but they have all led back to one thing; my purpose. I can’t escape it, ignore it, or side step it. I was meant to write, meant to loose captives, meant to free people with words poured from the pen of inspiration. So here I am, writing about what I know best…FaithWalkin. After all, I’ve been doing it since I was 17 years old.
Recently, I thought I was pretty faithful because I’ll do just about anything God tells me to…no matter how crazy it seems. I can do this because I have seen Him do some pretty outrageous things on my behalf just because I believed. Needless to say, I got a big wake up call about my early acceptance into the faith hall of fame (Hebrews 11). I realized my faith is still smaller than a mustard seed when God asked me to do…nothing. When He asked me to cease all movement or advancement, when He seemingly put me in a holding zone and instructed me to be still, I realized I’m not as faithful as I thought.
I questioned Him day and night, moment by moment, about my next move. I tried this and that. I beat the wind furiously trying to make things happen. I chomped at the bit like a benched ball player trying to get into the game or a sidelined wrestler waiting to be tagged into the fight. I cried out to God begging for my turn to advance His kingdom. “Use me, God! If you can use anything, Lord, then you can use me”, I shouted.
Silence bounced back at me. I begged Him to speak, but He would not. When I finally stopped asking for my turn and badgering Him for an opportunity, He spoke. “Do you trust me”, He asked. Do you trust me enough to do…nothing?”
I had to answer, “Yes.” There was no other answer to give. Who else had taken care of me when I couldn’t take care of myself, bailed me out of my troublesome decisions right on time, licked my wounds when I’d offered too much of me to someone undeserving? Who else would I give up motion for? Who else would I give away my autonomy to? “Yes, I trust you.”
It wasn’t long before I realized that He was still working on my behalf, though I was not. He is ever thinking of me and planning for me. My motionless moment didn’t mean He had taken a break from masterminding my life. He never slept or slumbered (Psalm 121), never went on vacation 1 Kings 18:25-27), or tuned me out (Psalm 6:9). As I quieted all the noise and sat expectant of a word, not an opportunity, He began to share His plan. And oh boy was it better than mine! If I had moved immediately I would have missed the chance of a lifetime; the chance to write.
It takes faith to do something you feel ill-equipped to do. It takes faith to put yourself and your gifts out there. It takes faith to walk in your purpose no matter how the odds get stacked. I pray this blog will inspire you to leap into the arms of God everyday because that is what FaithWalkin is. It is realizing that faith is a constant growth process that never ends so long as we breathe. It is recognizing that everytime you get to a point of comfort with your faith, you must push yourself into the next uncomfortable space, for this is where your faith will grow; on unfamiliar roads. Without faith, we cannot please God (Hebrews 11:6). So…come walk with me!